Random Thoughts

These last few weeks have struggle for me mentally, emotionally and spiritually. September 14th was the second anniversary of the date that I lost my mom to a brain anurisim. It still hurts to know that until I go to heaven I will not see my mom for the rest of my life. Sometimes I still can't believe that she is gone. I think what hurts the most is that she does not get to see her beautiful grandchildren (my two and my sister's one) grow up. And they do not get to experience the love and spoiling I know she would have given them. Hannah got to be around her for a short period of her life. She was 14 months when Mama died. Mama loved her so much and was so very proud of her. I do think that it is neat how Hannah looks just like Mama. I get comments all the time about how much Hannah looks like her Nana. I know she would be of Cayden and Parker too. She never got to have a little boy and I know both Cayden and Parker would have melted her heart, just like they do their mother's hearts. I know it is selfish but there are so many days when I really need my mama. It doesn't matter how old you are you always need your mama. I miss being able to call her and tell her about my day, or go shopping with her, or ask her advice about something. All of those things you take for granted when they are here with you. So for those of you who still have your mother's around make sure they know you love them and that you appreciate everything that they do. But if you are like me and have lost your mother, cherish the memories and live your life in a way that you know would make her proud. And if you know that she had a personal relationship with Christ as well as yourself, take comfort in the fact that the seperation you experience on earth is only temporary and one day you will have a grand reunion as you both worship and bow down before the awesome God who loves you and created you.